“What? Why? Is this some Revelations thing or something?”

“No, this is not the Rapture. This is an event that can be prevented and does not need to result in the end of two other races. If we let this continue, however, then there may not be a chance for the Rapture to occur,” Azazel answered.

“Why is this an option in the destiny of the world?” I asked, throwing my hands up. “It’s like putting a self-destruct button in a car.”

She closed her eyes and put her head on her knees, said, “This is a test for humanity and possibly the Fallen. My kind were created perfectly and to serve one purpose. As it stands, it is our job to prevent the Fallen from succeeding, and if they do, we must ensure that humanity survives.”

“Why do I have to do this?” I asked, thumping my chest.

“Do you have anything else to do with your life? I mean, do you really?” Agatha asked. I sat down on the edge of her chaise and thought for a moment, feeling mildly attacked by the question but also too tired to put up a defense.

“Yeah, okay. I had plans in my life. I wanted to do things, alright?”

“Sure, Amor. If that was the case, you would have gone back home a while ago and died just like the rest of the incarnations,” she said back weakly.

“Wow, okay, thanks,” I said, standing up, a rush of fiery anger shooting through me.

“Amor, wait,” Azazel said, jumping to her feet.

“No, screw this and screw her. I didn’t ask for any of this nonsense, and you were literally trying to kill me just last night. Since then, you haven’t proven to me one bit that I’m worth anything more than this stupid wing on my back. I had a life back home and it’s still waiting for me and I don’t see why the hell I can’t go back to it,” I snapped.

Agatha suddenly let out a laugh, and she looked at me with her dark eyes and said, “How do you expect to go back to your normal life with that stupid wing on your back. Pretend you can actually keep it tucked away. It’s like any other muscle, you’re going to need to stretch it eventually, and never mind the obvious. As soon as you leave her side, you are a sitting duck no matter where you go. Every demon out there is going to know you’re here and they will stop at nothing to kill you. I’ve seen it, Amor. You’re stuck here whether you like it or not, whether the life you had is waiting for you or not.”

Clenching my jaw hard and squeezing my hands so hard that I could feel the nails cutting into my skin, I stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind me. I stalked back into the main room and straight past everyone to the door outside. I walked straight to my car, the doors conveniently unlocked, and let out a long and frustrated scream. After I’d used up all the breath in my lungs, I gulped another huge breath of air and let it ring out of my throat, shaking my chords and screaming my voice raw, but it just didn’t seem enough. I don’t know how long I spent just screaming in the car to myself, but eventually I just started to cry hysterically. I was crying because I was overwhelmed, obviously, but aside from all of this nonsense that I hoped was just a really graphic and detailed dream in the back of my head, Agatha really did make me think about what I was doing with my life outside of this.

When reality was boring and real and easy, I had to worry about school. I had to worry about what I wanted to do with myself as early as possible, because everyone knew the later you waited, the harder it would be. But what did I even want to do? I like to lift with my dad, sure, but I couldn’t make a career out of that. I liked to cook, I liked to watch anime, I liked to read, I liked to make music, but none of those things I ever had a passion for, not enough to risk thousands of dollars for. What had I actually wanted to do with my life if I hadn’t gotten side tracked here? I can remember in each of the lives I lived, everyone wanted something. Not one person was idle or confused or going through the bullshit stillness I was going through. I had breezed through high school easily enough, but what was to become of a life when I didn’t even know how to control it? I couldn’t even stop the thoughts that invaded my mind. Who ever thought I could be responsible enough to manage my life when I felt I couldn’t even manage my life?

“Hey, calm down,” Madison said bluntly. Still stuck in my thoughts, I just couldn’t stop myself from crying. What was my life worth if I couldn’t find anything to do with it?

“I said calm down,” she said more adamantly. Rubbing roughly at my face, I looked up at her. She was looking at me with cold blue eyes, and she took a deep breath and rolled her eyes.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re going through. None of us really do, actually. None of us have been in your position before, but you need to try to calm down,” she said, looking me squarely in the eyes.

“How am I supposed to calm down? I don’t know what the hell is going on. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing or what I was doing with myself before all of this happened!” I said in an anxious rush. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Gross, blow your nose or something first,” Madison said, shaking her head and looking away.

“Oh, my god, I’m so pitiful!” I cried out. “Why am I like this? Why did I have to be born this way? Never mind the fact that I’m apparently some kind of angel now, even before that I was just a fucking mess! What was I doing with myself? Where was I going? I’m like a gun without any bullets on my own. I’m just so useless. I don’t even know how I managed to make it this far! I just kept going with it and it just kept bringing me somewhere else and I never really said no, I just kept going, and now that someone thought I was smart enough to handle my own life, I don’t even know what to do with it!”

And it was like that for a while. I just kept beating myself up and bringing up old shit that had nothing to do with anything but still haunted me at night, because these were the things that kept me up and haunted my waking day like the shadows of ghosts I’d created myself. There were so many times I hadn’t been a good person, and it drove me crazy that I didn’t atone for them, and though they didn’t affect my everyday life, they hung over me like anvils, ready to fall on me the moment I showed any kind of selfishness again. Beside that torment, I was constantly struck with the reality that I really wasn’t in control of my reality. Before any of this, I would gladly turn myself over to someone more capable, who actually knew what they were doing. It didn’t matter if I was okay with these things, it mattered if I complied because it wasn’t my responsibility. All I had to do was follow the menial path before me, and yet I wasn’t happy with that. I just kept berating myself and verbally abusing myself and putting myself down, and I just kept crying and crying and crying until my mouth dried and there was nothing to cry about anymore.

“Are you done throwing yourself a pity party?” Madison asked, enervated. She was sitting with her legs folded beneath her and she was leaning against the middle console. I looked up at her from my arms, then looked up at the sky. The sun was shining brightly and there weren’t any clouds around.

“No,” I sniffled, still feeling terrible about myself, then a second later I said, “Yes.”

“Good,” she said back to me, unfolding her legs. “Look, alright, even if you’d made it farther in your life, I still wouldn’t know how you felt. You’re different from us, and you’re closer to Azazel than we ever were, but I do know we’ve all been where you were. You’re in high school, you’re literally about to become an adult. I know that stuff is scary, especially knowing how smart you are. You think way too much, and now you’ve got something to think too much on. Right now, I think you should worry about your life later. I think you should worry about giving yourself a chance to worry about your life right now.”

I wiped at my eyes again and asked, “So you think I should help Azazel?”

Madison shrugged and said, “We all died trying to get to where you are right now. May as well see where it goes, don’t you think?”

I looked back out and at the sky and sighed, put my head in arms again and mumbled, “I guess.”

“C’mon, clean yourself up. You’ve got a world to save,” Madison said, cracking an encouraging smile. I rolled my eyes gently, and smiled wanly back at her, said, “No pressure at all, hm?”

“No pressure. Get out there, Chosen One,” she said, poking my face. I didn’t feel the touch, though. I wiped my face again and took a deep breath, then I left the car and walked back into the school building. The curtains were still drawn, but there was still activity within. This time, when I went in, the scent of cooking food wafted around me, and I glanced about awkwardly. Jo and Bond had been carted off somewhere to receive extra treatment, and Azazel was in the back with Agatha. I didn’t see Eleanor or Alana anywhere, but someone came up to me and asked, “Are you hungry, My Lady?”

“Oh, no, I’m not Azazel,” I said, shaking my head lightly. The boy before me laughed and said, “Oh, yes, I know you are not Azazel, but you’re still My Lady.”

“I am?”

“Of course. You have been blessed with the mark of Azazel and the wing of Azazel,” he answered, guiding me back to a kitchen area. “Here, we don’t know all of what you’ve been through, but we understand you’ve had a bad fight with a demon. Aggy and Eleanor came in the middle of the night. Aggy was close to death.”

“Yeah, yes, I was there,” I murmured, nodding. He grabbed a plate and piled some fresh food on top, and he asked, “What should we call you, My Lady? The last time you were here, the golem attacked you, so we assumed you were another demon, but then you arrived with Lady Azazel, so you must be good, right?”

“I have to think so, I guess,” I shrugged, stabbed my fork into a piece of sausage. “My name is Amor.”

“Amor? Oh, that’s a beautiful name,” he smiled. This boy looked young. He couldn’t have been much older than fourteen. He had kind brown eyes and fluffy brown hair. A wide, contagious smile opened his face more.

“What’s your name?” I asked around a mouthful of food.

“My name is Ben,” he said kindly, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“How did you get into all of this?” I asked, gesturing to the schoolhouse.

“I don’t know, really,” he answered, sitting me down at a table in the back of the kitchen.

“My parents were Catholic, and they raised my Catholic, but I just didn’t agree with it all. Then there was the section about the angels that defected—the ones that became the demons—and the one angel that fell on purpose to protect humans from them.”

“Wait, Azazel deliberately fell to protect humans?”

“That’s how the Catholics interpret it. They respect her, but there’s a lot of stuff I just didn’t agree with, so I just looked more into Azazel, and she stuck with me, ya know?”

“Did you always believe she was real?”

He shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee, “I didn’t expect anything, honestly. Any spiritual guide that rested easy with me was all I wanted, and she just happened to fit that bill. When she first came to me, I thought I was crazy.”

“Oh yeah? How did she come to you?”

“She was in a dream,” he said, looking up, “She was talking to my grandma, who died ten years ago. She was telling me all these things about my grandma’s life I had no way of knowing.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. She told me when she first met my grandfather, how old she was when she had my mother, my uncle’s birth. It was all really interesting.”

“But how did you know it was her? Like, how did you know it was actually Azazel?”

He shrugged again, and said, “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling you have, you know?”

“Like the wind on your face,” I murmured, looking at the rest of my food thoughtfully. He nodded, and repeated, “Like the wind on your face.”

“You must be tired. You should probably rest a while before you do anything else,” Ben said after I’d finished the plate of food.

“Yeah, I am pretty tired,” I said back, yawning and taking a sip of water. “Is there a place for me to rest here?”

“Oh, yeah, of course. The Ninth Branch is also a safe house for wayward people,” he smiled, taking the plate from me.

“Wayward people?” I asked slowly.

“Oh, yeah. Not everyone up here is an Azelian. People trickle in everyday just trying to find a place to rest, ya know? People come from all over, from all sorts of situations,” he responded, putting the dishes away.

“How do they find this place? I needed special directions from someone in Zela.”

Ben shrugged as he led me through the crowd of people to another area of the schoolhouse, which led underground to more rooms. “They just do. Maybe it’s Azazel, maybe it’s God. I think you can ask her if you’re curious enough. A lot of the Branches are made this way because a lot of the Branches are safe homes like this. To make sure everyone who comes here is safe, not everyone can know how big these places actually are.”

“Oh, how’d you know I was curious about it?” I asked, peeking through some of the open doors.

“A lot of people are when they first come down here,” he chuckled.

“Ah, okay. Were you ever curious about that, though? Like, how people could just randomly find this place?” He shrugged again and said, “Why should I be curious? They needed a place to rest and be safe, and they had enough hope. Maybe hope is what got them here? Who knows? I’m just glad we can be doing our part here.”

As he showed me around the room, a serene calm settled within me. There was an odd sort of tranquility that rolled off this boy. No, it wasn’t coming from him specifically, but there was an undeniable peace within the walls of the Ninth Branch. It was amplified by the people who lived here and radiated off of them like a warm aura.

“Well, this is your room for the time being. Just hang out and relax. You’re in Azazel’s hands, just like we are. I’m sure everything will be alright,” he said, clapping my shoulder lightly.

“Uh, thanks,” I said, snapping back to reality. He shot me another cordial smile before leaving. Inside, the room was silent. Despite the noise and activity happening outside, everything was quiet in the room, and for the first time in what felt like days, I felt relief. It hit me then that this was the first time I’d truly been alone since I first started to hear Madison. I plopped down on the bed and leaned forward on my knees. Putting my head in my hands, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Without thinking about it, my wing unfurled, almost as if to remind me that I wasn’t really the same person I was before, and at some point, I’d need to get to know myself again. The room wasn’t very large, so it quickly hit the wall. I angled myself slightly and allowed my wing to fully stretch out, and I took another deep breath with my eyes closed. It felt good to stretch it out. It felt liberating and soothing. Everything was quiet and calm. I felt alone, but I wasn’t feeling lonely. It felt like the world was giving me time to finally be with myself and just myself. My headspace was clear for once, and I was tired. I was so tired.

I tried to fold my wing back the way Azazel had folded it against my back. It felt strange doing it myself, but eventually it got to where it needed to be, and I laid on my stomach on the bed and just allowed myself to fall away. My mind slipped into nothingness and my thoughts became idle and light. Thoughts flowed through my awareness like water through my fingers, drifting casually and freely until I found myself drifting off into sleep.

My sleep was wonderfully dreamless. No one came to visit me, no one had anything to give me, there were no ominous visions of a scary and unforeseeable future. I was just sleeping soundly. For a few hours, the world finally let me alone.

 

“Hey, Ama,” Jo’s voice called out to me through the depths of unconsciousness. Her voice cut through the waters of my sleep like a cool knife, and I opened my eyes immediately.

She was sitting beside me wearing a shirt I hadn’t seen before, and she looked almost to be glowing. She said softly, “How are you feeling, girl?”

“Mm, alive,” I murmured, blinking my eyes and looking up.

“That’s good, that’s good. I think you should know something,” she said in an odd, foreboding tone. I looked back down at her, and she went on, “Well, um, your parents are looking for you.”

I looked back up at the ceiling, and breathed, “I’m not surprised.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you would be. I thought you might be surprised that they’re uh, almost here,” she said with an awkward smile. I glanced down at her, then back up at the ceiling, and I stared at it for a second. Turning over quickly in the bed, I suddenly screamed into the pillow. With my face still buried, I yelled, “Dude, they’re gonna kill me!”

“I know!” she yelled back at me, her panic instantly mirroring mine. “They’re gonna call my mom and she’s gonna bury me!”

“Oh my god why are you guys screaming?” Bond yelled, bursting into the room.

“Her parents are coming!” Jo yelled back.

“They’re what?”

“They’re on their way!”

“Oh my god!”

“Oh my god!”

“Oh my god!”

“We’re dead!”

“I know!”

“What do we do?”

“Should we run?”

“Run where?”

“What is happening?” Azazel asked, bursting through the door a second later. “Amor suddenly panicked, is everything okay?” I looked up at Azazel, bewilderment on my face, and she was looking around at all of us, cautious and ready, and I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter. She was an angel. Literally, straight from the bible, a living breathing angel. I didn’t think she understood the concept of parents or their punishments. Our parents and our impending doom seemed so small for a second. This whole situation was probably something far beyond Azazel’s mode of living. Jo and Bond began to laugh with me, and Azazel’s face relaxed, and she almost smiled at us.

“What is the matter, Amor? Your panic was palpable,” she asked, leaning against the doorway.

“My, my parents,” I said around more giggles and chuckles.

“Your mother and father? Why would they cause panic within you?” she asked curiously.

“They’re on their way here, and I’ve been gone for a few days. They’re going to be very angry with me and I’m worried about what they’ll do.”

“Will they harm you?” she asked, alarmed.

“No, no, they aren’t those kind of people. They will just yell at me a lot,” I laughed. Compared to the days I’d been through, getting yelled at didn’t seem like a problem at all.

“You fear their verbal reprimand?” she asked, confused. Jo and Bond started to laugh, and Jo said, “To teenagers today, that’s kind of bad. But they might ground us, too, and put other restrictions on us.”

“So you fear having your liberties taken away?” she asked, a look of clarity coming across her face.

“Yes, you could say that,” I smiled. “Ah, man, what are we gonna do about this mess?” Azazel came to sit beside me on the bed, and everyone was quiet as we sat and thought about the situation.

“Alright, what’s going to happen when they get here?” Bond asked, breaking the silence. I blew out and said, “I really do not know. My parents are very surprising people, but I know my mom is going to tear me a new one.”

“Okay, cool, so Ama’s mom is going to tear her a new one, then what?” I could hear Azazel asking Jo what that term meant, and I chuckled lightly. “They’re going to bring us all home,” I answered.

“Alright, but what about Azazel and everything? We can’t just leave her behind,” Bond said, looking up at Azazel. I glanced between Bond and Azazel, mildly surprised at how quickly he had come to accept this new reality and the fact that despite Azazel’s seeming dislike for me, she was now inevitably tied to us—or we were tied to her.

“I do not think you can just go with your parents, Amor,” Azazel said, looking at me with a dour expression. She turned her head to Jo as she spoke up.

“Why not?” Jo asked for me. Azazel glanced at me, but said nothing. There was a slight impression that rolled off of her and bounced against my thoughts, and I understood then that there was an evident and heavy truth that hung in the air, but to say it out loud would make it more real than I wanted it to be. The impression was undeniable. If I went back home, not only would I be in immediate danger; my parents, Jo, Bond, the people at school, the people at work, everyone connected to us could be put in more danger. Besides that, there was a war brewing just on the horizon, of which Azazel was the only soldier fighting for this side. We were humans, but there had to be something I could do. Looking at Jo, I shook my head. Bond gave me a harsh look, and he asked, “What does that mean for us? For me and Jo?”

“This is your opportunity to back to a normal life,” Azazel said simply, standing and moving toward the doorway. “The rest of this fight does not concern you, and Amor and I stand together in the objective of minimizing the amount of innocent casualties as possible.”

My eyes shot to Azazel, almost surprised, but she just nodded at me, and there was a silent understanding that passed between us. I was slowly starting to notice that as time went on for us, the contempt she held for me seemed to lessen. Maybe she was understanding me more. Even as she stood there in the doorway, she seemed to be softening up to me more and more, and seeing that Bond and Jo were just humans, I could feel her innate need to protect them, or at least steer them away from danger. Bond shot up then, and he asked, “What do you mean? I’m not just going to leave her here.”

“Me, neither,” Jo said stubbornly.

“I said it was your opportunity. I did not say it was your only option. If you choose to fight this fight with us, you must understand what you are getting into,” Azazel responded definitively.

“Hold on, now,” I said holding up my hand and looking at her. I looked at Jo and Bond, and said, “Look, you know I love you guys to death and back, and I’m really glad you guys decided to stick this out this far, but you already almost died. You guys both worried you were going to lose me, too. I almost lost both of you in a matter of minutes, and it was all my fault.”

“Yeah, and?” Jo asked bluntly. “You and I both know contemporary life is not where it’s at. At least where we’re at now, it’s almost like an anime. Long as we pretend we’re the MC’s here, we can’t really regret any decision we make. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely fearing for my life, but I don’t know. I’m kind of having fun.”

I opened my mouth to say something, completely dumbfounded by her response, but then I closed it again. Bond spoke up then, saying, “She speaks alone. I am not having fun, but you’re like my best friend, dude. If you’re gonna die on this adventure, I’d rather be here to watch it.”

“Bond, what the actual f–” I was about to speak, Azazel put a hand on my shoulder and said, “If your companions were ordinary humans, I would not have said it was an opportunity.” I looked back at Bond and Jo who were staring at me obstinately and smugly. I sighed and said, “You guys aren’t allowed to die on me.”

“Neither are you, dumbass,” Bond snickered.

“Piss off, you mutt,” I shot back. My mouth closed shut suddenly, a rabid fire licking the back of my neck.

A knock sounded at the door, and Alana poked her head from behind the door. Her face was carefully blank, but I could feel the gentle ebb of anxiety rolling off of her, and she said in a flat tone, “Amor, your parents are here.”

Looking up at her, I swallowed a ball of iron and silently nodded my head. Standing, I followed Alana out of the room, Azazel behind me. Jo got up, then but I shook my head at her and said, “It’s alright. I have to do this by myself. You know my mom.” I threw a glance back at Azazel as Jo’s eyes flickered to her.

“It has to be just her,” I said, answering the unsaid question. There was a flicker behind her keen brown eyes, and I immediately recognized it as a slight shot of hurt. I gave her a half-reassuring smile and without saying another word, I followed Alana back up the stairs. The schoolhouse above had cleared and I could feel my parents waiting there. Silently, I braced myself and tried to steel myself away from their emotions. I just knew that I would be overwhelmed if I let myself feel the full fury of their impending wrath. Even from the room, and as I approached them, their emotions shot and spit like fire. Despite the fear that was coursing through me then, I felt safe, I felt relief, so much that I almost cried. Their anger and fury were unwanted emotions, but something about how it came across, rather where it came from that I knew. These were my parents, and I had missed them so much.