The Azazel incidents were getting up and even made more of the news. This time, they were following a path in Indiana. They didn’t appear to be following any particular pattern. One victim was a pastor, of all people. Another was a police officer, and another had been a student aide. The only thing that anyone had to say about anything were the victim’s families, all saying they suddenly changed. Oftentimes, they grew more violent and angry. I’d forgotten to ask Madison about the dreams of her, but I figured if I wasn’t actually hallucinating, and everything I’d seen this far were true, then I needed to look into her and the Azelian cults.
The cult that the police in the north had arrested still weren’t saying anything, reportedly, but they still kept speaking cryptically, alluding to knowing who did it. It slowly started to make sense why there were doing it. I was avid about talking to Bond and Jo now. I needed to tell someone about my recent discoveries, and I insisted they see me as soon as possible. I thought about Vance, about telling him all that I was learning, but something told me to hold off on disclosing my new found knowledge to him, if only for a little while. I couldn’t understand what drove me away from telling him, but I couldn’t deny how strong of a feeling it was that I didn’t.
About half an hour after I’d texted Jo and Bond, my father called up to me from downstairs to tell me Jo had arrived. I heard her steps coming up the stairs, and Madison’s voice asked, “Is this the smartest choice you could be making?”
“I can’t just let this sit in my head. It’s going to drive me crazy,” I responded back as I sifted between the various tabs on my laptop.
“Can you trust them?”
“I have a really good feeling that I can,” I murmured as I skimmed over a quick history of the Azelian cults.
“You decent in there?” Jo called from behind my closed door.
“Yeah, come in,” I called back.
“What’s up?” she asked as she entered the room. “What was so urgent you demanded me now?”
“There’s a lot of weird shit going on,” I said, looking up at her.
“Weird like what?” she asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
“The triangle.”
“Well, yeah.”
“You know those dreams I’ve had?”
“Yes.”
“Well, they’re all actual people,” I said, turning the laptop around. “I’ve been dreaming of other people’s lives.”
She was quiet for a while, reading through each one, her expression still and blank before the information suddenly clicked. Everything I’d said in the past about all the dreams I’ve had began to slide further into clarity, and I could see this on her face when she finally looked up.
“What does this mean?” she asked after another moment. Pressing my lips together, I slowly said, “I think I’m the reincarnation of one person, and all these people are the incarnations before me.”
“That would make a lot of sense,” she said, looking off as she began to digest the information she just took in. “But what is it supposed to mean?”
I stared off toward the window for a moment, looked back to her. In the background, I could see Madison’s image in the mirror on my wall, and she was staring at me with an intent expression.
“I think it might have something to do with those Azelian cults,” I said carefully, watching Madison’s expression. She nodded her head silently. Jo looked at me sharply and asked, “How do you mean?”
I watched Madison a moment longer, looking for some sort of affirmation of my suspicions, but she was silent and did nothing.
“I don’t know how it connects together, but I’m pretty sure it’s tied in somehow.”
“What makes you think that?”
My mind flashed back to the moment everything seemed to go to hell, when I pulled that man and that girl from the wreckage of the accident. Madison’s words echoed into my head as I thought about how I had touched death. I had tried to block the whole event from my mind ever since it had happened. I knew that if I allowed myself to dwell too much on it, I would eventually fall into a deep and dark hole, but now it was roaring to life just as vividly as when it had happened. I could almost smell the burning destruction and hear the horses. I shuddered and said, “I’ve been having dreams of an angel, too.”
“Are you sure that connects you to those cults? You could just be dreaming of whatever,” she offered gently. “I mean, it could all just be some odd coincidence. I kind of hope it is, but everything I’ve dreamt of until now is right here in front of me. I’ve even dreamt back to all before people were documented, but I’m sure if that kind of technology was around, I’d find them there.”
“You saw all of them?” Madison spoke up suddenly, shocked.
“Yeah, I saw all of them, I think,” I murmured to myself, going through and trying to count all of the lives, but with each life I thought of, I got a flash of their death, and I shook my head quickly and looked back up at Jo. “My dreams have followed this consistent pattern. I see their first big moment of life, a couple of other really big moments, then I see them die. If my instincts aren’t right, then logic is on my side about this, and it’s worth looking into, right?”
Jo thought for a moment, not saying anything but looking past me. Watching her steadily, I could see Madison in the corner of my hand watching her, too. I don’t know what she could have had to be concerned about, but I needed to get this out. I needed this to make some sort of sense or else what else was I supposed to do? If Madison was real, if all of this was real, then I would die soon. I’d be damned if I died before I wanted to.
“What are you going to do about this then? Since you think you’re connected to these murders,” she finally spoke, her tone mildly skeptical but humorous.
“Ah, I don’t think I’m connected to the murders,” I grumbled quietly.
“The cults then.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I should go ask a cult or something,” I shrugged, turning back to her.
“Do you really want to do that?”
“No, not really,” I sighed, thinking about all the time and energy that would take. My eyes flickered to Madison, and her face had relaxed. She nodded at me silently, and I thought again of the possibility of my impending death. If it was going to happen by someone close to me, then learning at least something about the angel I dreamt of just might give me a chance to survive. . . right? Doing something had to be better than doing nothing. “But I don’t really know what else to do about it.”
“How do you even know it’s Azazel? What if it’s Michael or Gabriel?”
I looked past Madison over Jo’s shoulder, and I said, “I don’t know if it’s her specifically, but I don’t know any other angels of destruction, and I was definitely an angel of destruction. It would be worth it to look into, though, right? Just to see?”
“Why do you think you need to do anything?” she asked. Her question had been somewhat expected, but I was still taken aback. I stopped for a few seconds, looking off and out my window again as I wondered why I felt this urge to know. It wasn’t so much to avert my own death, which was a heavy hitting reason to investigate, but it was more a desire to know. Yeah, I would have liked to know for myself what all of this meant, but that wasn’t the consuming, driving urge. It was something else altogether, that once I thought it, I needed to do it. That feeling exploded throughout me and compelled me in a direction that I didn’t know what it would hold or do to me, but all I knew was I needed to go down it.
“I don’t know,” I finally answered. “It’s just something that I have to do.”
Jo rolled her eyes at me, said, “I don’t know why I expected any less from you.” I smirked, and she asked, “When do you plan on getting this done?”
“I don’t know. Probably as soon as I can. Maybe tomorrow,” I shrugged. “I have the means of doing it.”
“Are you sure this is something you want to do?”
“I think it is.”
Jo sighed and said, “I guess. You know, I’m not going to stop you.”
I smiled reassuringly at her and said, “Yeah, I know. I appreciate it. Just don’t tell anyone, I guess.”
She laughed almost sarcastically, said, “Yeah, no worries about that.”
I laughed with her, and for the rest of the night, she sat silently with me as I formulated the plan. The longer she watched me, the warier she grew. I could feel it slowly rising in the air like a slow moving gas. She sat and she waited to really figure out all of the details with me, and it seemed like a worse and worse idea as time went on. I could feel it radiating from her, and the information we came across didn’t help much. There were a bunch of pseudo-Azelians out there, and they were all I was actually coming across. I could tell which was which simply by looking at the information they offered. Some were evidently mocking, some were just wayward and out there.
We finally found one about five hours away, and sighing, I set up my agenda around that distance. Jo finally said, “Are you sure about this, Ama?”
I shrugged silently, answered, “I guess I’m as sure as I can be. I’m kind of going crazy over here in the house, and it’s not like I can go out and live yet, and everything’s just been getting worse with me. I don’t know, but I feel like this might be the only thing that might make some sense of everything.”
She was silent again for a while as she stared blankly at the computer screen, and then she said, almost reluctantly, “I’m coming with you.”
“Ah, c’mon, Jo. You don’t have to do that,” I whined.
“I kind of need to, so shut up and let me come along.”
“Jo, you do not need to come with.”
“Ama, if something happens to you, they’re going to question me on that. At least if I go with you, something happens to both of us so I don’t need to be thrown under the bus,” she pouted.
I snorted and said, “That’s your reason for wanting to come along? God, you’re only slightly ridiculous.”
“Makes sense! You can’t deny me that.”
“I mean; I guess?” I shrugged with a smirk. “I guess if we’re both going, we should get some sleep, huh?”
“Guess so,” she shrugged, rummaging through my dresser for an old t-shirt and shorts. Jo and I had known each other so long, spontaneous sleepovers were always an option. We had gotten used to each other and just assumed position and comfort as if it were our own home. That’s one of the things I loved about Jo, though. She was like a sister to me. The closest thing, I guess.
Sleep took its time finding me, but listening to Jo’s steady breathing kept me anchored on the near shore of my thoughts. I was in no danger of falling deep this night, and it was this assurance that finally carried me into the darkness of unconscious.
I dreamt of the angel again. I was flying high in the sky, soaring over a grand, golden city surrounded by endless miles of water. Below, slow passing white clouds, and below that, thousands of angels peppering the sky, and below that, thousands of colorful dots along the sand and in the cities like ants in mazes. I felt a cruel disdain rise within me. Contempt, disgust, and rage for the fallen ones. What did they think they would accomplish if they continued their siege on the world? They would only be defeated by us over and over and over again. It was not written in the Ways for them to ever succeed, so why try?
“Sister, follow me,” Artiya said as I cruised beside him, high above everything. Artiya looked just as dazzling as Abaddon did in their armor. It was something interesting and that I felt glad for as an angel. We were beautiful at all moments. Even in destruction, among the Destroyers, we were beautiful, dazzling creatures. Artiya’s pale skin seemed to glow beneath their golden armor. The crest of our people shone brightly from their chest, and fury was written in those pale, yellow eyes.
“Yes, brother,” I answered, banking close and down towards him as close as our wings could allow. As Destroyer angels, we were distinguished by the black and scarlet outer feathers of our crème and gold wings. It created the effect of a halo of fire and ash. The coloration wasn’t just for effect. The tips of their wings ignited all along the length of their glorious wings and spread to my own, and I was instantly synchronized with his thoughts as we tucked in our wings and spiraled downward into a cluster of demons threating to overpower our forces. The circle instantly burst apart as fire singed the ground all around us. The angels we had saved were huddling together, shields up and connected as they tried to nurse the one who had fallen. I felt my body move before my mind registered it wasn’t me moving of my own will.
Shooting off in the opposite direction as Artiya, I shot off through the crowd of demons, freeing my sword and slicing my way through. It was interesting dancing in my own body absent of my will. I felt I was merely on the sidelines as I watched my body move almost on its own. This was how I learned about the world from my siblings. I wasn’t necessarily capable of learning things by conventional means. As angels, we learned more from mimicking our brothers and sisters.
Before the battle could start and I could learn any more about myself, about the angel, I was torn violently from the dream and thrust into the cave I’d been at before. Her roar echoed throughout the cavern, crashing down on my ears painfully.
“Get out!” she roared. My body was flung backward against the wall of the dark cave.
The air left my lungs, my head snapping back. My head lolled to the side, stars clouded my vision for a fraction of a second before she grabbed my head by my hair and yanked up, slamming a fist into my face four times before slamming a knee into my stomach. Burning, hot bile shot my mouth as my world blinked out of existence for a moment. Falling forward, face first, my head throbbed with a pain I had never known in real life. I’d never gotten into a fight, so I’d never taken any hits to the face, but this was just terrible. It was beyond anything I’d felt before, and it seemed made worse by her bony fists. I rolled onto my back, trying to catch my breath, but before I knew it, there was a foot slamming down violently on my face, and then I was plummeting back into my body incredibly fast. I jolted upright, and the pain registered a moment later. My tried to crack my jaw, but I found that only brought me more pain.
Jo was awake then. Startling me, she asked, “You good?”
Reluctantly, I rolled my neck painfully and said, “Bad dream. An angel beat my ass.”
“And you didn’t fight back?” she asked, mockingly accusing.
“Hey man, it all happened so fast,” I protested, gently rubbing my eyes.
“Weak ass ninja,” she muttered, and I nudged her and asked, “What time is it?”
“Four forty-five,” she answered, holding the phone over her face.
“Ah,” I said, looking back at the dark morning behind us. “We should probably start getting ready.”
“What?” she complained.
“Come on,” I said shortly. I stood and went to the bathroom, waning to waste no time.
“Holy—what the hell?” I exclaimed, jumping near out of my skin. Madison had been waiting patiently in the bathroom mirror
“Just needed to make sure you were serious about this,” she mumbled lightly as she glanced at her fingernails, legs folded neatly on the bathroom counter.
“What—why would you ask me that? I was on the way to being ready already,” I scoffed at her, tying back my hair harshly.
“Just needed to make sure,” she echoed. “Things are only going to get worse from here.”
“Didn’t you say that already?” I asked, jamming a toothbrush into my mouth. Early mornings weren’t my thing, so I was already cranky before I had a reason to be cranky.
“Yeah, I did,” she responded, her head rolling back as she looked at me through downcast eyes.
“So . . . what’s the difference?”
“The difference is there’s only been a handful of us who has done what you’re doing.”
“What? Learn about ourselves?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, what should I be worried about, then?”
“Understand this: the only reason a lot of us didn’t get the chance to learn about ourselves is because we didn’t live long enough,” she said curtly, turning her face to look directly at me.
“Well,” I said, shrugging in partial surprise.
“And the ones before you who actually did start, weren’t killed long after starting,” she continued, her eyes darkening. “You need to be careful. If you aren’t, you’re going to die, and then the Six Days will begin.”
“Six Days?” I asked, not thinking too much of what was happening. “What are the Six Days?”
She was quiet, her face emotionless as she considered what she was saying, and it was then that I realized she wasn’t telling me everything. A wall raised itself within me, but I didn’t let it close me off to her completely. There was truth to what she was saying. Something strange was actually happening. The world could have burned for all I cared, but my life was in the process of upending, it felt like. If someone was going to kill me if I didn’t do anything, I may as well have done something to try to stay alive.
She opened her mouth to finally speak, but I held up a hand and said around the toothbrush, “If we are alike, then you should know that I know you’re hiding something. I don’t know what, and right now, I don’t care. We’ll burn that bridge when we get there. Just, don’t kill me.”
She was quiet again for a moment, and I rinsed out my mouth. Looking back up at her, she said with an odd expression, almost helplessly, “We’re on your side, Ama. We’re all basically the same person.”
I rolled my eyes and said, mildly reassuring, “I’m gonna die if I don’t do anything, right?”
With a sad sort of expression, she nodded her head, and I bent down to splash water on my face, and I said, “Don’t worry. I’m going to figure this out for us.”
She didn’t respond after that. Glancing up, I saw she disappeared. Once I’d finished washing my face, I looked at myself in the mirror for a few moments, winced because somehow, my face was sore from the beating I took in my dreams. Had she killed me? She basically kicked my face in. The triangle seemed to be puckering, or maybe it was pinkening, now. Putting in a pair of contacts, I left back out to my room, and Jo took my place in the bathroom. My room was almost eerily silent as I applied some makeup and pulled on some clothes. Couldn’t leave the house without my eyebrows done. I wouldn’t have it. I gathered a small bag in case I’d need to be traveling longer than I expected, and for a second, I wondered what the actual hell I was doing. Pausing, I thought about what I was actually about to do: embark on some “grand adventure” in search of something that could have been a really intense and chronic hallucination. The rational part of my brain was still trying to make this obviously unreal event just what it sounded like: fiction.
Despite that, I somehow was still overcome with this feeling of needing to go forward and find the truth. There was something hidden behind everything that was happening in my life. The mark on my back, the mark on my face, the memories of other people who have already died, and dream of an angel who has killed me twice now. This wasn’t just something random,
and I had to figure it out.
“You ready?” I asked Jo as she came back to my room.
“Let me put some clothes on,” she mumbled, going to my closet and pulling out an outfit. I crept quietly down the stairs and found my keys in a bowl beside the door. My parents were still asleep. They would both find it very odd that I was awake so early and trying to leave. Their interference was the only thing then that could have stopped me from leaving. I had my silver Chevy Impala, but I chose not to use her too much since I didn’t need to go many places during the school year, so she almost always parked permanently underneath a tarp. She still purred quietly as I started the ignition. Jo came out a few moments later, and we took off quietly into the early morning.
Jo sighed beside me as she settled into the seat. “I can’t believe I’m doing this with you.”
“You should totally text Bond and get him to come with us,” I snickered.
“Bet,” she spat as she sent a quick text. A moment later, she got a response back, and she said, “He’s down.”
“Dude.” I said, giving her a conspiring look. I quickly pulled out of the driveway and pulled up to Bond’s house a few minutes later. I could see him rummaging around in his room from the driveway before he disappeared inside the house and popped out the front door a moment later. I rolled down the window and yelled, “Get in loser, we’re adventuring!”
He jumped into the back and asked, “What are we up to today? Are we ditching?”
“We’re going to investigate Ama’s angel situation,” Jo said, half joking.
“Angel situation?”
“I might be an angel,” I chimed.
“This one? An angel? What does that even mean?” Bond asked, gesturing to me disbelievingly.
“Means we’re going to go question an Azelian cult,” I shot, turning onto the highway.
“You sure you wanna do that?” Bond asked. “You know what’s going on with them.”
“Well. We’re already in the car so there’s really, like, no turning back,” I chuckled.
“I guess you’ve got a point,” he responded, settling back into the seat.
“Onward unto destiny!” Jo cried.
“Onward!” Bond and I echoed back. Of all the strange things I was doing, this one felt at least mildly right.